R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She's the barista slut.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
