I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
