ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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