Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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