Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
