i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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