fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
