I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
