do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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