"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He better not be in your backpack
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
