is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so let's talk penis.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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