HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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