the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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