You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
