just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
