i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
