I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm like, not good at living.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
