Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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