she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
"it" just moved
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
