I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
