you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
