Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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