how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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