Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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