I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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