i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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