I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
