Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
