Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
