My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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