just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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