A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm just crazy horny about you
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
