Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
