do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
