He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Still dying that you shit outside
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
