But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
