Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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