she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
