did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
