So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
