I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
