brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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