Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
