One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize