Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
