Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My vagina just recognized that song.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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