Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
