Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Randomize
