M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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