yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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